how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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