Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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