why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
