Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize