Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
