you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
