all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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