Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
  Replies (14) Good night (486) Bad night (3868)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f
  Replies (20) Good night (6025) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy... http://tfl.nu/yiqn
  Replies (38) Good night (5664) Bad night (2021)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Happy St. Patrick's Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen.... (508): Happy St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/t6ex
  Replies (2) Good night (3216) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car? http://tfl.nu/e1cd
  Replies (4) Good night (2999) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships. http://tfl.nu/i0ve
  Replies (18) Good night (1284) Bad night (3285)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn. http://tfl.nu/5r2c
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.

  (707): View more from California

  *roof

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): 1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor. (707): *roof http://tfl.nu/ph25
  Replies (6) Good night (1739) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness http://tfl.nu/qa2j
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break. http://tfl.nu/xprx
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now. http://tfl.nu/rvro
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to. http://tfl.nu/2okj
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car. http://tfl.nu/x1gt
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (206)

Randomize