Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (424): I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick http://tfl.nu/5e2h
  Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis" http://tfl.nu/kjwy
  Replies (12) Good night (7077) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya
  Replies (29) Good night (8471) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class. http://tfl.nu/j3lm
  Replies (12) Good night (4410) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail. http://tfl.nu/ymgr
  Replies (7) Good night (824) Bad night (3424)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated. http://tfl.nu/sxgj
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (2455)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers http://tfl.nu/jy5e
  Replies (11) Good night (1941) Bad night (3456)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3193) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever. http://tfl.nu/tgjb
  Replies (5) Good night (1261) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she's perpetually drunk

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's all she knows

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I think she's perpetually drunk (484): It's all she knows http://tfl.nu/wd5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1346) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone" http://tfl.nu/gip2
  Replies (7) Good night (590) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life http://tfl.nu/4nsr
  Replies (6) Good night (883) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  ...you should fill the cart some more

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it? (1-518): ...you should fill the cart some more http://tfl.nu/ls8l
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night http://tfl.nu/4dps
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (262)

Randomize