Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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(773): View more from Illinois

It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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(845): View more from New York

My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

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(253): View more from Washington

There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.

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