I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze