I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person