Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes