I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
