I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
