I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
