i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
