I cockslap morals
there was a trapeze. enough said
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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