Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
