when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
