Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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