somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
