We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
