It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
