there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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