don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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