I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
