Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize