just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
