they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
