My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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