Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
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he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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