i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
