just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
