You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
