super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
