walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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