I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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