I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
