lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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