i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I need a beard to bite.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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