Dude my mom stole all your condoms
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize