definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
