is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
