New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
NoShamevember. You game?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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