1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
