Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
