You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
