im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
