You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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