Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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