I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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