Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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