I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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