I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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