Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Quick, to the slutcave!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
