Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize