VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
