1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
