i already hear my dad disowning me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
