Are we in a gay sports bar?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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