brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
