I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
